Wednesday July 30th, 2008 / 0 responses

Evangelist's wife was in the freezer this whole time

Evangelist's wife was in the freezer this whole time

No one had heard from Arletha Hopkins in over three years. Her husband, Anthony, who neighbors called "Reverend" because of his love-affair with preaching fiery sermons at churches around the country, explained that she had died while giving birth to the last of her eight children - six of which were his.

So, imagine everyone's surprise when police discovered Arletha's frozen corpse in Hopkins' freezer, just behind the ice tray and to the left of the Puddin' Pops. "Oh! There's mommy!" the children laughed while their father shook his head in disbelief. "Well, ain't that a bitch?" he said, clearly amused by his own forgetfulness. "I don't even remember putting that in there!"

Hopkins is described as a quiet man when not behind the pulpit. He homeschools his children, ages 3 to 19, and has been known to sodomize members of his family, just like God would want. It is also rumored that at least one of his daughters is pregnant by the reverend.

I think the good reverend would want us all to heed the words of Christ - "Let he that is without sin cast the first stone" - lest we be too quick to place judgement. After all, who hasn't thrown something into the fridge and totally forgotten about it?

Sources: MSNBC



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