Wednesday July 9th, 2008 / 2 responses

Serial rabbi killer may be using Google Earth to find his Jewish victims

A serial murderer is on the loose in the UK and he's targeting Jewish leaders as startling evidence shows that as many as 40 rabbis have been murdered in the past few weeks.

Authorities say that the killer has been snatching the kindly, old, bearded gentlemen by their side-curls from cages that are not in public view, leading some to believe that he is using some kind of satellite surveillance, such as Google Earth, to discover his victims' whereabouts.

Thus far, there has been no explanation for why the rabbis are being targeted or why they are spending the night outdoors in cages, though we suspect that's just another part of their precious and ancient religion, which also prohibits them from eating delicious pigs and, if our experience is any indicator, from boning black chicks.

In almost all of the murders, the killer has decapitated the rabbis. The heads are missing and all of their blood has been drained from their bodies and collected in a bottle or container of some sort, presumably for use in back-alley, neo-Nazi, Jew-hating rituals.

Naturally, we suspect the Christians.

Sources: Telegraph

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