Wednesday July 2nd, 2008 / 0 responses

Satanists kidnap, rape and torture two victims

Get your pitchforks and torches, everyone! It seems devil worshippers are infiltrating Durham, North Carolina now that a local couple was charged with kidnapping, torturing and raping two victims to get their Satanic rocks off.

Rev. Joseph Craig, who fancies himself a magician or wizard or fairy or something, and his wife Joy Johnson, a former leader of the local Democratic Party, allegedly kidnapped two people as part of some obscure Satanic ritual that involves making everyone in the media retarded. The victims were imprisoned inside the couple's home, shackled to the bed and locked in dog cages. No word on whether or not the "peanut butter trick" was performed.

According to sources, both victims were starved and beaten with cables and wooden poles and the female was raped.

A local, self-professed Satanist, who was later burned at the stake and fed to wild dogs by chanting mobs, said the accused couple were the super-secret leaders of the Order of the Morning Star, an 80-member group that is pure evil, worships the devil (because that's exactly what Satanism means) and wishes you would take them seriously, dammit! God, no one understands!

Sources: WTVG Toledo



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